1 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:03,737 * MTV ♪ 2 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:08,776 [both chuckling] 3 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,779 [rock music] 4 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:18,986 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,995 [gibberish] 6 00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:30,498 Bow down before the almighty bunghole! 7 00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,501 [gibberish] 8 00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,970 I am Cornholio. 9 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,339 I need TP for my bung-- aah! 10 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:39,973 Put your hands behind your back. 11 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,609 - Are you threatening me? - Stop resisting. 12 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,277 Throw the book at him, sirs. 13 00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,012 [can hisses] 14 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,514 Take him to jail. 15 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,582 He's a weirdo, and no one likes him anyway. 16 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,918 You must release the almighty bunghole. 17 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,553 You will unhand the mighty bunghole. 18 00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:53,987 - [laughs] - I will resist! 19 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,823 I will resist! Unhand me! 20 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,158 Ah, ah! - Stop spitting. 21 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,227 - You must release me now! - Hey, no biting! 22 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,561 Ah! 23 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,763 You will not restrain the almighty bunghole. 24 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:06,534 [grunting] Aah! 25 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,736 Today we're going to be talking 26 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:13,006 about William Shakespeare's inspiring play about love, 27 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,343 "Romeo and Juliet," 28 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,479 who were teenagers, just like you. 29 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,948 Yeah, yeah. That's interesting, yeah. 30 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,483 Mm-hmm, yep. Mm-hmm. 31 00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,051 Yeah, yeah. 32 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,686 Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah. 33 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,521 [laughs] Yeah. 34 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,325 Hey, Butt-Head. 35 00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,194 Hey, Butt-Head, Butt-Head, wake up. 36 00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:35,196 [groans] Damn it, Beavis. 37 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:38,166 I told you to never wake me up. 38 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:39,533 This better be good. 39 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,934 Butt-Head, that chick just looked at me. 40 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:43,271 [grunts] 41 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,973 Butt-Head, Butt-Head, she's doing it again. 42 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:47,908 Uh, she's probably, like, 43 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:50,611 never seen a dumbass weirdo before, 44 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:53,714 so she wants to, like, check one out in person. 45 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,115 [laughs] - No, no, that's not it. 46 00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:57,185 She's seen me before, yeah. 47 00:01:57,251 --> 00:02:01,054 Can everyone please focus, mm-kay? 48 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:05,693 They're kind of in the 1% of Verona. 49 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,995 They're also... 50 00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:10,198 Whoa, it's a note. 51 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,600 Hm, lemme see that, Beavis. 52 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:13,834 Let's see here. 53 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,236 Hm. [laughs] 54 00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:16,637 Yeah, what's it say? 55 00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:20,107 Uh, it says I, 56 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:23,611 and then she drew, like, a butt. 57 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,246 [laughs] 58 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:29,082 Uh, and I think this is, like, the bottom of a foot. 59 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,952 Boy, she doesn't draw very good. 60 00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:36,357 So it says, "I kick you in the ass." 61 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:37,458 [laughs] 62 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,827 She's gonna kick your ass, Beavis. 63 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:42,196 [laughs] - Wait a minute. 64 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,432 She's gonna kick my ass? Really? 65 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:47,868 She couldn't have said it any simpler, Beavis. 66 00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:50,304 Do you think she can kick my ass? 67 00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,306 She sure can, Beavis. 68 00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,942 She's a weirdo just like you. [laughs] 69 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,878 She's got weirdo strength. 70 00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,847 Oh, no. 71 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:03,451 Beavis and Butt-Head, what is going on back there? 72 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:07,688 Uh, Beavis is having one of his outbursts again. 73 00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,457 Time to call the police. 74 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,791 [sighs] 75 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,527 Okay, I'm going to have to separate you two, 76 00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:14,928 mm-kay? 77 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:19,533 Beavis, can you trade seats with Hector, please? 78 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,003 Go ahead, Beavis. Sit in Hector's seat. 79 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:26,240 Oh, boy. [chuckles] 80 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:29,443 [soft music] 81 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,445 ♪ ♪ 82 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,781 Hi, Beavis. 83 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,182 Oh, yeah, yeah. 84 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:38,218 How's it goin'? 85 00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,853 Kick his ass. 86 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,122 [chuckles] 87 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:49,129 But what makes "Romeo and Juliet" so universal 88 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:52,766 is the Bard's portrayal of love's excitement 89 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,336 and dangers, mm-kay? 90 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,070 My name's Glennis. 91 00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,340 Oh, yeah, yeah. 92 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:02,276 How's it going there, Glennis? 93 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,645 [softly] I saw you in the cafeteria. 94 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,380 Everyone thinks you're weird. 95 00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,248 They think I'm weird too. 96 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:11,285 Yeah, yeah. [laughs] 97 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,120 Check it out. 98 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:14,522 Do you like it? 99 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,890 Um, what's it say? 100 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,026 Metallica. It's on your T-shirt. 101 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,128 Um, oh, no, no. 102 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,664 No, I think it says, um, "medium" or something. 103 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:26,367 [laughs] Yeah, medium, yeah. 104 00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,436 They're almost the same shape though, you know, 105 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,170 so you were close, you know? 106 00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:33,607 Good job. - Okay, everyone, please focus. 107 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:36,744 And since you two star-crossed students 108 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,446 seem to be so interested, 109 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:41,549 perhaps you can share with us something about love. 110 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:46,587 Glennis, can you name something or someone you love? 111 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:49,757 Um, there is someone. 112 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,925 But I'd rather not say. 113 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,094 Mm-kay, that's fine. 114 00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:55,596 And you, Beavis? 115 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,865 Do you have a great love in your life? 116 00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:01,335 Um, yeah, I don't really have feelings and stuff. 117 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,603 Come on, Beavis. 118 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,872 There must be someone or something 119 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,841 that you feel deeply passionate about. 120 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,242 Well, yeah, um, 121 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,911 yeah, now that you mentioned it, 122 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,313 there kind of is actually, you know? 123 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,215 Like, I have a love 124 00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:17,117 that I can't stop thinking about. 125 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:20,187 And, um, and it gives me a special feeling, you know? 126 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:23,090 But I never told anyone about it 127 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,726 'cause I was afraid they won't understand. 128 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,027 Yeah. [laughs] 129 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:29,262 Tell us who it is, Beavis. 130 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,665 Be brave like Juliet. 131 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:34,001 Um, okay. 132 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,670 Okay, yeah, yeah. I will, yeah. 133 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,539 I will tell you, yeah. 134 00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:39,840 Here it goes. Yeah. 135 00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:42,109 Um, it's fire! 136 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,144 Yeah, fire! 137 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,479 Fire! [chuckles] 138 00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:47,481 I love fire. 139 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,451 [both laugh] 140 00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:53,421 That kid is weird. 141 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:54,888 Diana has in store for Denzel, 142 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,124 but he did not come to play. 143 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,493 "But he did not come to play." 144 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,894 [laughs] 145 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,229 Boy, he sucks. 146 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,164 [laughs] - What is this anyway? 147 00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:07,067 This is that show where they take a couple, 148 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,537 and then, like, they have 'em give each other tattoos, 149 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:12,406 but they can't see it until they're all done or something. 150 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,574 Oh, my God! 151 00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:14,775 Another fine offering 152 00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:16,444 from the good people at MTV. 153 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,645 [both laugh] 154 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,514 Yeah, okay. 155 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,616 Yeah, let's see what he got, yeah. 156 00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,184 [dramatic music] 157 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,185 both: Three! 158 00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:27,521 Oh, my God. both: Two. 159 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,222 - [sighs] - One. 160 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:32,192 I thought seconds were faster than that. 161 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,961 Not when you're watching this show. 162 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,597 - [laughs] - [chortles] 163 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,799 Nah. 164 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,534 - Uh... - What's that supposed to mean? 165 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,102 Diarrhea? 166 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,204 Whoa. [chuckles] 167 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:47,107 It doesn't really look like diarrhea though, you know? 168 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,142 Doesn't usually come in a ball like that, you know? 169 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,879 I mean, I'm not doctor or anything, you know? 170 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,346 Just a fan, you know? 171 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,615 [laughs] 172 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:57,117 Uh, wait a minute. 173 00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,652 I think that's her name. 174 00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,187 [both laugh] 175 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,722 You know, it's not a bad name really, you know? 176 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:04,692 Um, because diarrhea just kind of flows off the tongue, 177 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,926 you know? [laughs] 178 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:08,462 Diarrhea Jones, yeah. 179 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:11,064 Uh, it doesn't flow off the tongue, Beavis. 180 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,967 [chuckles] It flows out of your butt. 181 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,504 - You came in dirty as [bleep]. - [laughs] 182 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:21,308 Uh, okay, let's see what he had tattooed on her. 183 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:25,245 I bet this is gonna be good, yeah. 184 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:29,449 Uh, I think this also says "Diarrhea." 185 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,284 Oh, yeah, yeah. 186 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,254 Yeah, with a picture of some diarrhea too, yeah. 187 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:38,025 See, now that looks like diarrhea, yeah. 188 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:42,029 Uh, so I guess they're both named Diarrhea. 189 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,731 Well, that makes it easier. 190 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,232 [both laugh] 191 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,800 [giggles] 192 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,136 He's like, "Diarrhea, 193 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:52,405 will you make me the luckiest man in the world?" 194 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,808 [laughing] I wanna have you forever, Diarrhea. 195 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,244 [chuckling] - Yes, yes! 196 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,979 And then when they get married, 197 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,280 the priest is gonna be like, 198 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,883 "Diarrhea, do you take this man, 199 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,485 who I think's name is also Diarrhea, 200 00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:07,521 to be your lawfully wedded husband, 201 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,056 for richer or poorer, 202 00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,725 through sickness and, uh-- 203 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,194 I guess just through sickness? [laughs] 204 00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:15,996 Through diarrhea and health. 205 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,464 [both laugh] 206 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:20,233 They're honeymoon's gonna be in the toilet. 207 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,069 [laughs] 208 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:24,905 I do-doo. [chortles] 209 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,775 They're so cute! Aw. 210 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,477 This is what the bottom of the barrel looks like. 211 00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:33,446 [both laugh] 212 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,949 Oh, my God. 213 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,718 So, um, so what happens 214 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,186 at the end of "Romeo and Juliet"? 215 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,021 Damn it, Beavis, you better not be talking 216 00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,489 about a play. 217 00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:44,825 Sorry, sorry about that. [police siren wailing] 218 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,827 Uh, whoa. 219 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,428 What's going on? 220 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:51,064 You know that weird girl in Van Driessen's class? 221 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,533 She burned down the honors trailer. 222 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,235 Whoa, there she is. 223 00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,439 [exhales] 224 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,009 Whoa, she's writing something, Butt-Head. 225 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,076 It's a line. 226 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:06,479 Uh, that means "I." 227 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,115 And then there's a butt again. 228 00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:10,550 And, um, and that looks like, um, 229 00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:12,352 like some kind of face or something. 230 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:15,522 [laughs] - Uh, it's a head. 231 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:16,824 Butt-Head. 232 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,358 That's me. [laughs] 233 00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,628 Oh, do you think that means she wants you? 234 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,462 Probably. 235 00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,131 Maybe if she had actually kicked your ass 236 00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,398 I'd have noticed her more. 237 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,700 Oh, yeah, yeah. 238 00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,435 You know, it's too bad she's going to jail 239 00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,838 because you probably could have scored with her. 240 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,473 Yeah, but who cares? 241 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,542 Lots of chicks wanna score with me. 242 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,978 It's because I'm not a weirdo like you, Beavis. 243 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,113 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 244 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,650 But, um, but if all these chicks like you, 245 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,217 how come you've never scored? 246 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,887 [laughs] - It is a mystery, Beavis. 247 00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,622 Nobody knows. 248 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,057 Oh, yeah, yeah. 249 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,558 Yeah, right, yeah. [laughs] 250 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:52,726 [engine turning over] 251 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,061 [siren wailing] 252 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,529 She wanted my schlong. 253 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,432 [both laugh] 254 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,503 Oh, yeah, yeah.